Home.

There's no place like home.

I've had an odd couple of weeks at uni. Maybe an odd couple of months. It's left me feeling exhausted and emotionally (and physically) unwell. It's difficult to put my finger on what's making me feel low but whatever it is, God is teaching me so many things through this time.

God has blessed me with gifts that I want to use for His glory and not for my own. I am so grateful to Him for giving me these gifts, but I know I often use them wrongly. I often use them so that people will like me. I often use them so that the world will think I'm a "good" person and won't see the goodness of our God. I even use them in such a way that it actually does me more harm than good. How can I be effective in using my gifts to bless people and glorify His name if I'm making myself unwell in the process?

I know I probably sound really vague here; I hope I will soon be able to look back at this time, when the fog has lifted, and understand what's wrong with me. My mind has been in a vague state for a while now. I can't make sense of my thoughts. I'm not coherant. I often just feel utterly helpless and want to give up.

And then God speaks words of encouragement to me. Just a few hours ago, a good friend of mine pointed me towards Hebrews 10 v 23: "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." What a faithful God we serve! I may feel like I've lost hope, like I don't know where God is in my circumstances. But "God can be trusted to keep His promise!" He has promised that He will come again and rescue us from our present troubles. He has promised His Holy Spirit to rest among us, giving us strength and building us up in Him. He has promised that He holds us close and will never let go.

And now I've come home and can just rest. What a blessing! Thank you God for my family!